I watched my daughter perform with her chorale group last night. She has always had a naturally beautiful voice and loves to sing. She saw me as I was looking for a seat and asked to see the program. She said "Dad's going to be mad—I'm with the tenors".
The transgender movement has caused severe alienation within our family - not this bad, but it is still as if a bomb of never-ending sorrow went off between us.
Literally has taken the joy of life away. Nothing is anything to look forward to anymore. I want my joy back and pray it will come back and all this will go away. It’s all we can do
If there was anything going at the school behind your back, and if you have the emotional strength, you could sue as other parents have done. I have seen lawsuits being directed at schools. Likely Google will pull up the names. If your daughter is open to it, show her Cat's story. I have met the lovely Cat, a singer/songwriter whose voice was harmed by testosterone. She has been quite open about her story and the harms it caused.
The best advise that was given to me at the beginning was “pull your child out of public school, separate her from her friend group and monitor/control her internet use.” I took this advise immediately upon finding out that my daughter had been secretly identifying as a male in the 8th grade. Although my family is not religious, I enrolled her in a Catholic high school where gender ideology is NOT recognized. The school provides counseling for these issues and does not affirm. My daughter is now a sophomore and has a great new friend group and has dropped gender ideology. It was hell getting to this point and there were lots of sacrifices to be made, but it worked. My husband and I did not ever affirm her wishes to be a male. It killed me to see her so upset with us but it would kill me more to see her go down the path of transitioning. Kids get over being mad at their parents!
AllyY, I know you’re right. Honestly, not being dramatic here, I think it’s time for a March on Washington. I have never felt so clear about the need to March for anything before. To my mind, this is an insidious effort to destroy the fabric of this country- family. Much like Red China, back in the red scarf days. Separate children from their parents. Teach the children to report parents, teachers anyone who resists the regime’s doctrine. I find myself in awe of the numbers who seem to blindly follow this and defend this ideology. It’s as if they’ve been drugged. The drug is brainwashing. This is not political. I see through PITT that this cult is blind to red or blue. We are facing a real , visceral threat to the world we know.
I attended the hearings for SB 14 in the Texas Senate State Affairs committee yesterday. I learned a new term used with the gender indoctrination crowd. When a kid is being counseled on a trans social media site and complains of depression or anxiety or expresses dismay at their body, and is later talked into embracing the concept that he/she was born in the wrong body, “they” refer to it as “cracking the egg.” How does that make us feel. Our babies are looked at as eggs.
Our situations share some similarities in the Dad/husband department. A part of me feels good cop, bad cop might not be such a bad thing. I’ve never seen my husband express such raw emotion as he did when our daughter announced her intentions to assume the role of a male. It devastated him. There’s a part of me that hopes it will make her second guess all of this when he finally tells her exactly how he feels. That day is bound to come in the not so distant future. As of right now he intends to cut ties with her upon starting T as the first step prior to surgery. He states he won’t witness it or put himself through it. She bears the name of his deceased mom, lost at the tender age of 8 years old. He couldn’t wait to give her that name. He refuses to call her by any other name.
I understand his pain and his anger.
While I totally disagree with my daughter’s choices. I’m not willing to lose her completely. But I won’t subject him to what’s to come. Navigating all of this will be difficult. But somehow we’ll make it work. I don’t envy your predicament.
Hopefully your daughter’s actions are an indication of indecisiveness & she’ll decide to remain consistent with her biological sex. I wish you & your family all the best & I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I pray for all of us daily. Please do the same.
I agree with your husband. I would be furious!! Without any doubt, the schools are pushing children toward this transgender ideology. I would sue into financial devastation every school official who exposed my child to this dangerous ideology. Gender dysphoria is not physical, it is mental. Mental confusion can be overcome with compassion, therapy, and counseling. Mutilation a child using surgery or hormones blockers is truly an act of evil. Our kids deserve better.
No, you can do more and you can be precise about it. Clear communication is elementary. Hide not behind taboos, because that is a mask that kills you. There is something at stake and you must be willing to talk about it.
You and your husband are one flesh, but also one couple that can talk with her about how you feel about all of this. More important, talk about how she sees this! Let her explain this new landscape to you as if you are a visitor to another planet, which you are in a way, as this new narrative changed its culture in ways hard to understand if you are not a teenager.
No pressure, just curiosity. Ask instead of pointing out. Question where you doubt. Set rules.
Look at consequences, think about your true identity. You are love, but love is not openness alone! Show her pictures of her as a child casually and of yourself. Talk about your feelings. Be honest and connected. Be respectful but true. Prepare her for the world.
In every one of these stories springs up thoughts and feelings I frequently struggle to put on paper. Thank you for sharing. I too was able to “rise above and enjoy the moment” when our son sang in the college choir but it’s a moment, a quickly passing moment, as reality soon comes rushing back in. The telling of the differences in you and your husband is so very common in these cases. I am not surprised as it is usually the men who go to combat.
Why would you ever get an Dr appt for this? Why would you pickup the prescription? Why would you not take it away from you daughter?? Your husband has the right reaction except he should take it out on you. Shame on you. Also I’m not affirming my own daughter because it’s insanity. She’s not suicidal and this is all bs. Stop falling for it. Don’t pick up anymore testosterone.
She will become even more brainwashed in college 😔
The transgender movement has caused severe alienation within our family - not this bad, but it is still as if a bomb of never-ending sorrow went off between us.
Literally has taken the joy of life away. Nothing is anything to look forward to anymore. I want my joy back and pray it will come back and all this will go away. It’s all we can do
If there was anything going at the school behind your back, and if you have the emotional strength, you could sue as other parents have done. I have seen lawsuits being directed at schools. Likely Google will pull up the names. If your daughter is open to it, show her Cat's story. I have met the lovely Cat, a singer/songwriter whose voice was harmed by testosterone. She has been quite open about her story and the harms it caused.
https://www.iwf.org/identity-crisis-cat/
The best advise that was given to me at the beginning was “pull your child out of public school, separate her from her friend group and monitor/control her internet use.” I took this advise immediately upon finding out that my daughter had been secretly identifying as a male in the 8th grade. Although my family is not religious, I enrolled her in a Catholic high school where gender ideology is NOT recognized. The school provides counseling for these issues and does not affirm. My daughter is now a sophomore and has a great new friend group and has dropped gender ideology. It was hell getting to this point and there were lots of sacrifices to be made, but it worked. My husband and I did not ever affirm her wishes to be a male. It killed me to see her so upset with us but it would kill me more to see her go down the path of transitioning. Kids get over being mad at their parents!
Why put the blame on the mother when it is the father who threatens to sue the school but does nothing?
AllyY, I know you’re right. Honestly, not being dramatic here, I think it’s time for a March on Washington. I have never felt so clear about the need to March for anything before. To my mind, this is an insidious effort to destroy the fabric of this country- family. Much like Red China, back in the red scarf days. Separate children from their parents. Teach the children to report parents, teachers anyone who resists the regime’s doctrine. I find myself in awe of the numbers who seem to blindly follow this and defend this ideology. It’s as if they’ve been drugged. The drug is brainwashing. This is not political. I see through PITT that this cult is blind to red or blue. We are facing a real , visceral threat to the world we know.
I attended the hearings for SB 14 in the Texas Senate State Affairs committee yesterday. I learned a new term used with the gender indoctrination crowd. When a kid is being counseled on a trans social media site and complains of depression or anxiety or expresses dismay at their body, and is later talked into embracing the concept that he/she was born in the wrong body, “they” refer to it as “cracking the egg.” How does that make us feel. Our babies are looked at as eggs.
Praying for her.
Is there anywhere on this site that indicates how many members it encompasses?
Our situations share some similarities in the Dad/husband department. A part of me feels good cop, bad cop might not be such a bad thing. I’ve never seen my husband express such raw emotion as he did when our daughter announced her intentions to assume the role of a male. It devastated him. There’s a part of me that hopes it will make her second guess all of this when he finally tells her exactly how he feels. That day is bound to come in the not so distant future. As of right now he intends to cut ties with her upon starting T as the first step prior to surgery. He states he won’t witness it or put himself through it. She bears the name of his deceased mom, lost at the tender age of 8 years old. He couldn’t wait to give her that name. He refuses to call her by any other name.
I understand his pain and his anger.
While I totally disagree with my daughter’s choices. I’m not willing to lose her completely. But I won’t subject him to what’s to come. Navigating all of this will be difficult. But somehow we’ll make it work. I don’t envy your predicament.
Hopefully your daughter’s actions are an indication of indecisiveness & she’ll decide to remain consistent with her biological sex. I wish you & your family all the best & I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I pray for all of us daily. Please do the same.
I agree with your husband. I would be furious!! Without any doubt, the schools are pushing children toward this transgender ideology. I would sue into financial devastation every school official who exposed my child to this dangerous ideology. Gender dysphoria is not physical, it is mental. Mental confusion can be overcome with compassion, therapy, and counseling. Mutilation a child using surgery or hormones blockers is truly an act of evil. Our kids deserve better.
No, you can do more and you can be precise about it. Clear communication is elementary. Hide not behind taboos, because that is a mask that kills you. There is something at stake and you must be willing to talk about it.
You and your husband are one flesh, but also one couple that can talk with her about how you feel about all of this. More important, talk about how she sees this! Let her explain this new landscape to you as if you are a visitor to another planet, which you are in a way, as this new narrative changed its culture in ways hard to understand if you are not a teenager.
No pressure, just curiosity. Ask instead of pointing out. Question where you doubt. Set rules.
Look at consequences, think about your true identity. You are love, but love is not openness alone! Show her pictures of her as a child casually and of yourself. Talk about your feelings. Be honest and connected. Be respectful but true. Prepare her for the world.
And I echo your words
"You took my joy and I want it back"
💔😔💔😔💔😔💔😔💔
In every one of these stories springs up thoughts and feelings I frequently struggle to put on paper. Thank you for sharing. I too was able to “rise above and enjoy the moment” when our son sang in the college choir but it’s a moment, a quickly passing moment, as reality soon comes rushing back in. The telling of the differences in you and your husband is so very common in these cases. I am not surprised as it is usually the men who go to combat.
Why would you ever get an Dr appt for this? Why would you pickup the prescription? Why would you not take it away from you daughter?? Your husband has the right reaction except he should take it out on you. Shame on you. Also I’m not affirming my own daughter because it’s insanity. She’s not suicidal and this is all bs. Stop falling for it. Don’t pick up anymore testosterone.