I read an article by a trans-woman who was trying to explain what it means to “be trans.” I like to occasionally read these articles to make sure I keep an open mind about issues of gender and transition, and to see the sorts of things that people like my daughter, who claim to be the opposite gender and therefore must “transition”, are reading. In this particular article, the author argued vehemently that to question the feeling that one is trans is ridiculous, unfair, and illogical and, based on their comments, the nine people who had commented on the article at the time I read it, felt that the author expressed the feeling of being “trans” well.
No matter what surgeries or moves one makes, they cannot become the opposite sex. Surgeries, hormones, living as that sex, etc does not change biology. Yes, ppl will likely eventually accept them as that, but no, they will not be that. Woman = adult female human. Female = Having XX chromosomes. You cannot become one by playing one.
You say so many great things that it is sad to see you play their game there. If we are gonna stick to reality, we need to be all in with reality.
I’ve often used the “what if you woke up in the opposite sex body” thought experiment too, when talking with people, because I think it highlights how ridiculous “gender dysphoria” (as something which our culture completely invented) really is. Yes, I would be bummed out and disappointed to wake up as a man, but I would just have to deal with it and live with it. The idea of taking hormones and getting breast implants and cutting off my genitals would not occur to me: it would absolutely not make my situation better, nor would it turn my new man-body into a woman-body. Nor would I be “suicidal” — I would simply have to live with it and get on with living my life, same as everyone else.
We go through life not getting a lot of things we want. If a kid wants to be the opposite sex, fair enough, but there are a lot of things we wish that we can’t have. I wish I looked the way I did when I was 19. I wish it was easy in my middle aged body to lose weight. I wish I had enough money to retire. Some people wish they were taller or had a different eye or hair color: oh well. We are who we are. If anyone is acutely distressed by that, they need therapy, not surgeries and “affirmation” of a wish which is counter to reality.
When we have to argue clear, and seemingly obvious statements like, “You can’t know what it’s like to be in another being’s body — not even someone the same sex let alone the opposite sex,” we’re in trouble. Doubly so when we’re considered bigots for doing so. This is, of course, why the “no debate” rule. Because nothing makes sense when you accept that rational thought. Over and over, I just keep wondering, where are the clinicians? Surely this must be obvious to them as well.
The question "What does it feel like to be [sex]?" generally makes as much sense as "What does it feel like to be human?", "What does it feel like to be a mammal?", "What does it feel like to be an air-breather?" It is a meaningless question which is designed to confuse due to the lack of relevant comparators. We simply *are* [sex], human, mammal, and air-breathing.
However, as pointed out in the article, there is one way the question can make sense, and that is in terms of what advantages and limitations society puts on the individual as a result of sex-based assumptions - i.e. gender roles. The answers to this vary from society to society, historical period to historical period, but the people in society least able to answer the question in these terms are children. They may have some idea of what boys or girls "should" do, but they can't critically evaluate those expectations in any meaningful way.
The problem with gender roles is not with the individual, but with the society in which the individual lives. Whilst I understand that a woman or a man in a very masculine society might need to pretend to be something else in order to do what they feel they have to, I am a hard-liner when it comes to surgery to deal with mental health problems (which is what dysphoria is) - it is no more acceptable to remove external body parts in the name of therapy than it is to remove sections of the brain. The risk:benefit analysis does not favour it, and it should never be an allowable option.
Thank you for this wonderful article. It does seem that there are a tiny number of adult men and an even more infinitesimal number of adult women for whom medicalization may turn out to be the best of bad options after plenty of therapy. However, the normalization and even glamorization of it plus the promotion of a whole ideology to go along with what is a mental illness is damaging all of society. We have done a particular disservice to the young most of whom would never have gone down this hole on their own. I blame in part the excesses of "kind-hearted and progressive" thinking in the schools which has lead kids to be groomed and mentally separated from parents. When "kindness and understanding" promotes self harm, ideology, and turning away from family we have a real problem. I was glad to see you use the word "gaslight".
One great article by a detransitioner said: being a woman is not a feeling, it's a fact.
Ditto for men of course.
I think someone's history doesn't change whether they're a woman or man, that's an attribute set by biology...but indeed they can have experiences or feelings more common with the opposite sex in the society and time they are in. I agree our society should just recognize this. The rest is body hatred which is .....not necessarily best dealt with by modifying the body and given all the ways gender dysphoria presents and evolves right now, rapid medicalization for still developing young people or people with complex situations (trauma, etc) is dangerous and wrong.
No matter what surgeries or moves one makes, they cannot become the opposite sex. Surgeries, hormones, living as that sex, etc does not change biology. Yes, ppl will likely eventually accept them as that, but no, they will not be that. Woman = adult female human. Female = Having XX chromosomes. You cannot become one by playing one.
You say so many great things that it is sad to see you play their game there. If we are gonna stick to reality, we need to be all in with reality.
I’ve often used the “what if you woke up in the opposite sex body” thought experiment too, when talking with people, because I think it highlights how ridiculous “gender dysphoria” (as something which our culture completely invented) really is. Yes, I would be bummed out and disappointed to wake up as a man, but I would just have to deal with it and live with it. The idea of taking hormones and getting breast implants and cutting off my genitals would not occur to me: it would absolutely not make my situation better, nor would it turn my new man-body into a woman-body. Nor would I be “suicidal” — I would simply have to live with it and get on with living my life, same as everyone else.
We go through life not getting a lot of things we want. If a kid wants to be the opposite sex, fair enough, but there are a lot of things we wish that we can’t have. I wish I looked the way I did when I was 19. I wish it was easy in my middle aged body to lose weight. I wish I had enough money to retire. Some people wish they were taller or had a different eye or hair color: oh well. We are who we are. If anyone is acutely distressed by that, they need therapy, not surgeries and “affirmation” of a wish which is counter to reality.
When we have to argue clear, and seemingly obvious statements like, “You can’t know what it’s like to be in another being’s body — not even someone the same sex let alone the opposite sex,” we’re in trouble. Doubly so when we’re considered bigots for doing so. This is, of course, why the “no debate” rule. Because nothing makes sense when you accept that rational thought. Over and over, I just keep wondering, where are the clinicians? Surely this must be obvious to them as well.
Love the clarity of your debate. You put the words to my thoughts.
Thoughtful article. Thoughtful comments.
The question "What does it feel like to be [sex]?" generally makes as much sense as "What does it feel like to be human?", "What does it feel like to be a mammal?", "What does it feel like to be an air-breather?" It is a meaningless question which is designed to confuse due to the lack of relevant comparators. We simply *are* [sex], human, mammal, and air-breathing.
However, as pointed out in the article, there is one way the question can make sense, and that is in terms of what advantages and limitations society puts on the individual as a result of sex-based assumptions - i.e. gender roles. The answers to this vary from society to society, historical period to historical period, but the people in society least able to answer the question in these terms are children. They may have some idea of what boys or girls "should" do, but they can't critically evaluate those expectations in any meaningful way.
The problem with gender roles is not with the individual, but with the society in which the individual lives. Whilst I understand that a woman or a man in a very masculine society might need to pretend to be something else in order to do what they feel they have to, I am a hard-liner when it comes to surgery to deal with mental health problems (which is what dysphoria is) - it is no more acceptable to remove external body parts in the name of therapy than it is to remove sections of the brain. The risk:benefit analysis does not favour it, and it should never be an allowable option.
Thank you for this wonderful article. It does seem that there are a tiny number of adult men and an even more infinitesimal number of adult women for whom medicalization may turn out to be the best of bad options after plenty of therapy. However, the normalization and even glamorization of it plus the promotion of a whole ideology to go along with what is a mental illness is damaging all of society. We have done a particular disservice to the young most of whom would never have gone down this hole on their own. I blame in part the excesses of "kind-hearted and progressive" thinking in the schools which has lead kids to be groomed and mentally separated from parents. When "kindness and understanding" promotes self harm, ideology, and turning away from family we have a real problem. I was glad to see you use the word "gaslight".
Wonderfully written.
Thank you for this.
One great article by a detransitioner said: being a woman is not a feeling, it's a fact.
Ditto for men of course.
I think someone's history doesn't change whether they're a woman or man, that's an attribute set by biology...but indeed they can have experiences or feelings more common with the opposite sex in the society and time they are in. I agree our society should just recognize this. The rest is body hatred which is .....not necessarily best dealt with by modifying the body and given all the ways gender dysphoria presents and evolves right now, rapid medicalization for still developing young people or people with complex situations (trauma, etc) is dangerous and wrong.