This time last year I wrote my first PITT piece, “This is Not a Desistance Story.” It was spring, and I was optimistic and hopeful. “Next May, I’ll write an update with a different title,” I thought. Yet, I both believed it, and didn’t—living in the state of uncertainty and low-grade depression is a surreal experience. My son was 17, and I thought I had a year left. It was spring. I was scared and anxious.
I am just beginning this journey. My 16 year old son left me a note before he went to school stating that he has decided he is transgender after thinking about it the last year. He had come out as bi previously, so we had already processed that. I don’t know where to go or what to do. He says he is not ready to go public or tell friends and family. Today he received a package from Amazon, and at first lied about what it was. Turns out it was female attire. I have no idea what this means or what to expect, does this mean there is no going back and I need to prepare to lose my son? He had never shown any interest in anything feminine or had any traits before. This came out of nowhere. Anyone have and advice?
Thankyou for sharing your story, I am 4 months away fo the bi 18. I am anxious as I have ever been. I have no idean when the best time to start sharing what I have invesitgated. with your story my intuition says it can be the right time.
I hope you pray you are right, and that the whole awful thing is behind you. Remain vigilant, as I know you will. You were courageous to show him all the documentaries, have him listen to the podcasts, etc. My husband wants to do that with our daughter who lives "as a male" away at college, but I am afraid of alienating her further. What you said about not being able to live with yourself, though, has given me something to think about.
Chris I comprehend what you are saying, but will ask you to define "recover" as you are using it here.
I'd argue (after reading many survivor stories and personally knowing 10 men and women who were raped, molested and sodomized as children. I can guarantee you, they have not recovered...are they functional adults, who are dealing with their trauma every day, yes. Does their abuse distort, influence, and in some cases derange their actions and perspective of the world, yes again - do I see that as "recovery" from a devastating trauma, not in the least. But it's not your or my definition that counts, it's that of the survivors.
I agree with you, that kids who are groomed into transitioning, have very real mental and physical traumas, that leave scars for life, but so do the survivors of pedophilia. They deal with quite a few physical problems, for the rest of their live.
Let me end with this. My purpose in the message I'm trying to get out there is not to play a "this group has it worse than that group"...there are no winner here, in these groups of kids being hurt.
I don't think anyone would diminish the atrocities any of these kids are living through, as they well should not. Kids do not deserve to be used, hurt, molested, manipulated or abused...they did nothing to deserve it, they certainly didn't ask for it and they have almost no way of coping with it, aside from compartmentalization, disassociation and internalizing misplaced blame and shame. As I'm sure you know, these survival techniques have devastating long term effect.
My purpose is to draw attention to the ideological connections, between these two movements. As well as expose the literal tangential points between them and those pushing thee two agendas. There are trans founders, organizers and activists - past & present - who've openly said there's nothing wrong with pedophilia, sex between an adult and child and that it is a victimless crime. There have also been those who are active in the trans movement and local community organizations connected, who've been caught or exposed engaging in or promoting pedophilia. These people are active and influential in the Trans-cultist-movement, that's capturing and mutilating these kids. They also are involved in developing the policies that govern the standards of care for gender dysphoric kids, as well as the definitions for it in the DSM. To think that their hidden perversion does not play into this, is ideologically foolish, at best.
I appreciate the comment, you sharing your perspective and the opportunity to clarify, my purpose here and else where. I am hopeful we all can agree, that no matter who is doing it or the banner/flag they are hiding under , if a child is being hurt, we need to stand against it and do our best to stop it.
Sounds like a great success story - and I hope it continues to be one! You are correct, this gender-cult experience is indeed just like a ROLLERCOASTER ride for all of us - it goes too fast, is terrifying, it turns our lives upside down, it will not slow down, it does not care about our screams or panic or crying and does not care. Then suddenly it comes to an abrupt stop and our loved one either gets off the ride with us or our loved one continues on the ride without us. A groomer is always standing by to push the buttons to start the ride up again and encourage our loved ones to stay on it… it’s fun, the groomer says, you will enjoy the ride, the groomer lies, it’s life changing, you will be happy, the groomer shouts. The line to get on the cult-rollarcoaster ride gets longer and longer. Now the groomer hands out free surgery tickets and drug candy. Take a ride on the wild side…
Sounds as if you handled this with great wisdom and discernment, all the while not knowing how things would turn out. That takes courage and perserverance. I hope this is all now clearly behind your son, but if there should be some hint of regression, you know you'll handle it, as you've handled it up to this point. In truth, our lives never "turn out" -- they just keep turning -- but you have successfully shepherded your son through a perilous passage. Well done!
I’m so very happy for you - at least your son is saved and you’re a great parent. I’m not in the same place but sadly but hoping God will do a miracle for my 21 year old and other transgenders 🙏 Lord help us parents in this group as only you can. On a side note - I’m now on antidepressants- which I hated to take but it’s just too much honestly
You mention that your son's therapist believed he was too smart to get pulled into the cult. Exactly what I thought of my son, but no. He was captured. I still can't understand how he can possibly believe the stuff that he believes. He is scientific and gifted and yet, when I said that it was impossible to change sex, he answered, 'the only difference between men and women are hormones'. I hope that your son has really seen the light. Good luck and best wishes.
Well done. Did you read anything on cult deprogramming in the last year or so? I intend to look into the topic for a future piece. We have things to learn.
You are so happy mother! Congratulations and all the best for your son. I just hate all this stuff. The original Pride movement was so human, and now it's just faceless woke mob that shouts : "Transition! Transition! Transition!" Like an army of clone warriors. Or like an Ender game, they think they just play a computer game against some terfs, knowing nothing about agonising parents, destroyed families, enslaved children.
I do love a happy ending. It certainly feels like you are VERY close to one. I will carefully go there with you . . . a moment to catch your breath and beleive.
I recall when my son's behavior in college was out of control. He fortunately was never caught up by the 'cult', but he was in deep trying out a bit of the drug scene, waaay too much alcohol , weed was almost an all day event, grades were all over the place, choice of friends was lousy - so I finally sat down and wrote him a letter. In the first draft I vomited up every last thing I really wanted to say to him, straight onto the page with no edit. It felt fantastic! It felt like love. Then, I wrote the letter I felt he would actually listen to. As you said - he is your son - I couldn't have lived with myself if I hadn't spoken up. I had to let him know how much I loved him and that I was actually watching and seeing him - and that his life mattered to me - mattered enough to let him know, mattered enough to me to risk even losing him.
It was only later that I realized how important that letter was to him. There have actually been times, when he has left that letter out, so that I would know that he rereads it from time to time. It may have been the life preserver that he was seeking, wanting, reaching for - and it was finally, literally in his grasp. I am so happy for you, that you 'took the pulse' and stepped in when you could, and when you had to. I'm still learning - it never ends, but I send a 'Cheers!' to you. Thank you for writing.
I am just beginning this journey. My 16 year old son left me a note before he went to school stating that he has decided he is transgender after thinking about it the last year. He had come out as bi previously, so we had already processed that. I don’t know where to go or what to do. He says he is not ready to go public or tell friends and family. Today he received a package from Amazon, and at first lied about what it was. Turns out it was female attire. I have no idea what this means or what to expect, does this mean there is no going back and I need to prepare to lose my son? He had never shown any interest in anything feminine or had any traits before. This came out of nowhere. Anyone have and advice?
Thankyou for sharing your story, I am 4 months away fo the bi 18. I am anxious as I have ever been. I have no idean when the best time to start sharing what I have invesitgated. with your story my intuition says it can be the right time.
I hope you pray you are right, and that the whole awful thing is behind you. Remain vigilant, as I know you will. You were courageous to show him all the documentaries, have him listen to the podcasts, etc. My husband wants to do that with our daughter who lives "as a male" away at college, but I am afraid of alienating her further. What you said about not being able to live with yourself, though, has given me something to think about.
Chris I comprehend what you are saying, but will ask you to define "recover" as you are using it here.
I'd argue (after reading many survivor stories and personally knowing 10 men and women who were raped, molested and sodomized as children. I can guarantee you, they have not recovered...are they functional adults, who are dealing with their trauma every day, yes. Does their abuse distort, influence, and in some cases derange their actions and perspective of the world, yes again - do I see that as "recovery" from a devastating trauma, not in the least. But it's not your or my definition that counts, it's that of the survivors.
I agree with you, that kids who are groomed into transitioning, have very real mental and physical traumas, that leave scars for life, but so do the survivors of pedophilia. They deal with quite a few physical problems, for the rest of their live.
Let me end with this. My purpose in the message I'm trying to get out there is not to play a "this group has it worse than that group"...there are no winner here, in these groups of kids being hurt.
I don't think anyone would diminish the atrocities any of these kids are living through, as they well should not. Kids do not deserve to be used, hurt, molested, manipulated or abused...they did nothing to deserve it, they certainly didn't ask for it and they have almost no way of coping with it, aside from compartmentalization, disassociation and internalizing misplaced blame and shame. As I'm sure you know, these survival techniques have devastating long term effect.
My purpose is to draw attention to the ideological connections, between these two movements. As well as expose the literal tangential points between them and those pushing thee two agendas. There are trans founders, organizers and activists - past & present - who've openly said there's nothing wrong with pedophilia, sex between an adult and child and that it is a victimless crime. There have also been those who are active in the trans movement and local community organizations connected, who've been caught or exposed engaging in or promoting pedophilia. These people are active and influential in the Trans-cultist-movement, that's capturing and mutilating these kids. They also are involved in developing the policies that govern the standards of care for gender dysphoric kids, as well as the definitions for it in the DSM. To think that their hidden perversion does not play into this, is ideologically foolish, at best.
I appreciate the comment, you sharing your perspective and the opportunity to clarify, my purpose here and else where. I am hopeful we all can agree, that no matter who is doing it or the banner/flag they are hiding under , if a child is being hurt, we need to stand against it and do our best to stop it.
*edit for typos
Sounds like a great success story - and I hope it continues to be one! You are correct, this gender-cult experience is indeed just like a ROLLERCOASTER ride for all of us - it goes too fast, is terrifying, it turns our lives upside down, it will not slow down, it does not care about our screams or panic or crying and does not care. Then suddenly it comes to an abrupt stop and our loved one either gets off the ride with us or our loved one continues on the ride without us. A groomer is always standing by to push the buttons to start the ride up again and encourage our loved ones to stay on it… it’s fun, the groomer says, you will enjoy the ride, the groomer lies, it’s life changing, you will be happy, the groomer shouts. The line to get on the cult-rollarcoaster ride gets longer and longer. Now the groomer hands out free surgery tickets and drug candy. Take a ride on the wild side…
My heart goes out to you. Virtual hugs and a high five!
Sounds as if you handled this with great wisdom and discernment, all the while not knowing how things would turn out. That takes courage and perserverance. I hope this is all now clearly behind your son, but if there should be some hint of regression, you know you'll handle it, as you've handled it up to this point. In truth, our lives never "turn out" -- they just keep turning -- but you have successfully shepherded your son through a perilous passage. Well done!
I’m so very happy for you - at least your son is saved and you’re a great parent. I’m not in the same place but sadly but hoping God will do a miracle for my 21 year old and other transgenders 🙏 Lord help us parents in this group as only you can. On a side note - I’m now on antidepressants- which I hated to take but it’s just too much honestly
You mention that your son's therapist believed he was too smart to get pulled into the cult. Exactly what I thought of my son, but no. He was captured. I still can't understand how he can possibly believe the stuff that he believes. He is scientific and gifted and yet, when I said that it was impossible to change sex, he answered, 'the only difference between men and women are hormones'. I hope that your son has really seen the light. Good luck and best wishes.
As a parent, I am just so happy for you. Also, well done. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
You carefully handled this situation and won a key battle. Don’t let up. The alphabet cult is relentless and will keep trying to pull him back in.
Some, like us on the other hand, are losing this fight. I hope to publish our story if this channel accepts.
Well done. Did you read anything on cult deprogramming in the last year or so? I intend to look into the topic for a future piece. We have things to learn.
You are so happy mother! Congratulations and all the best for your son. I just hate all this stuff. The original Pride movement was so human, and now it's just faceless woke mob that shouts : "Transition! Transition! Transition!" Like an army of clone warriors. Or like an Ender game, they think they just play a computer game against some terfs, knowing nothing about agonising parents, destroyed families, enslaved children.
Well done, mama! Well done. I really really hope I will have the same-ish story very soon!
Thanks for the update. I have hope that my son will be out of this team before college. I have one year left.
I do love a happy ending. It certainly feels like you are VERY close to one. I will carefully go there with you . . . a moment to catch your breath and beleive.
I recall when my son's behavior in college was out of control. He fortunately was never caught up by the 'cult', but he was in deep trying out a bit of the drug scene, waaay too much alcohol , weed was almost an all day event, grades were all over the place, choice of friends was lousy - so I finally sat down and wrote him a letter. In the first draft I vomited up every last thing I really wanted to say to him, straight onto the page with no edit. It felt fantastic! It felt like love. Then, I wrote the letter I felt he would actually listen to. As you said - he is your son - I couldn't have lived with myself if I hadn't spoken up. I had to let him know how much I loved him and that I was actually watching and seeing him - and that his life mattered to me - mattered enough to let him know, mattered enough to me to risk even losing him.
It was only later that I realized how important that letter was to him. There have actually been times, when he has left that letter out, so that I would know that he rereads it from time to time. It may have been the life preserver that he was seeking, wanting, reaching for - and it was finally, literally in his grasp. I am so happy for you, that you 'took the pulse' and stepped in when you could, and when you had to. I'm still learning - it never ends, but I send a 'Cheers!' to you. Thank you for writing.