Our closest relationships are often our greatest teachers. I am finding the truth of that in my marriage now, as my wife and I struggle to stay connected and parent through vastly differing perspectives on the current gender narrative. I often find myself feeling angry and withdrawn because of our widely differing opinions about navigating the gender landscape.
The new film, "Affirmation Generation" lays bare the harms and the confusions of this ideology: https://vimeo.com/800032857 . Everyone involved with this debate should watch it and share widely.
You are in a tough spot - but you are the logical thinker and did not buy into the gender cult lies. Keep strong and do not give in. The truth is starting to seep out into the world and the harm and damage that has been done to children/teens is being exposed. Whistle blowers will continue to come forth and the cult supporters will be held accountable. We are all in this together - don’t lose hope.
I wonder if it is possible to use logic and facts to change the mind of an adult with magical thinking. I know it's rarely the case with a trans-ID person. We most often make decisions based on emotion, not logic, so perhaps the stories of detransitioned males and transwomen would emotionally resonate with your wife? The stories on Reddit r/detrans are soul crushing. Ritchie/TulipR's experience as well. https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/89-ritchies-detransition-the-myth-of-adult-invulnerability. Even the words of transwoman Corinna Cohn - who talks about the lack of sexual pleasure, not finding a life partner, and being only viewed as a fetish by those who have an interest. Corinna's "Letter to my teenage self" is especially telling. https://paresky.substack.com/p/the-op-ed-that-went-viral-and-the
I'm reading both in this post here and in the comments below examples of people who live in small towns, disagree with gender ideology, and find themselves in the MINORITY. What's happening??? I've lived in a major US city for the past 20+ years now and have assumed that I'm in the minority *here*, but that things would probably be different if I went and lived in a small town. What in the world??
Addendum to my other comment below. As you try to persuade your spouse, here are a few tools:
1) Lesbians United's great report: "Puberty Suppression: Medicine or Malpractice"
2) It has psychologist terminology in it but Susan and Marcus Evans book "Gender Dysphoria. A Therapeutic Model for Working with Children, Adolescents and Young Adults."
M view: showing children this hideous crank, the "choose your sex" debate, opening them up to the horrors of puberty blockers, the horrors of cross sex hormones and the horror surgeries, encouraging them to "socially transition" is child abuse. I have no idea if these kids can be recovered from this path, if it is possible to change this direction without separation, and recover the children, but if not, if this isn't an option, I'd take my kids, and go.
Thank you. It's true - we often share more common ground with the people we disagree with than we think. I hope you are able to find and hold on to yours with your wife.
The transcult is strong. I feel we must at least dialogue and study, look at history, look at outcomes and really have in depth knowledge and serious conversations about this. On sex changes, the awesome Brett Weinstein & Heather Heying (DarkHorse Podcast#159) I heard say (mockingly) - The only people who are not allowed to transition, are people who have transitioned, it's temporary, until you have done it once, it's required until you have done it once, then there's no going back, because once you've seen your true self, only the "others" can tell if you were actually right.
Everyone, we are up against invincible madness with this cult, and we must keep standing for truth and what is best in life. There are boys and girls, men and women. Why? Because we know better that's why.
I read this, terrifying. Not news but the young age of these children - terrifying and heartbreaking. They should be chasing butterflies and building lego and drawing pictures and reading wonderful books, not this crazy, psychotic, damaging shit about sex/gender. I wonder if these children have male role models, how often they visit, if there is a relationship with the father or how their existence has been explained, if the children understand biological reality of humans and animals, if they fully realise that two women cannot produce a baby on their own - nobody can get away from biology and this does relate to a discussion about reality - that nobody can change their sex - there is no magic pill to change boy to girl or the other way around, nobody is born in the wrong body and needs this body medically and surgically altered to match inner reality, I wonder if the children have extended family and a circle of friends, who are deeply interested in something else, and dedicated to it, for example, animals, art, music or other. I wonder if they understand biological reality and if they realise that there is a whole big wide world out there that is very busy thinking about other things, entirely - and that there is a lot to think about. I wonder if they go to school and if the school pushes this shit, I wonder how they got these books in the first place, who put them onto it. I admit, I could not quite bear to read the whole thing.
I will never use the phrase 'CIS'. It's my hill to die on. Control of language is control of discussion, narrative.
Someone mentioned divorce. I'd be very hesitant because in this day and age, you might end up in the cold. The courts are tending to toe the GI line, and you may be viewed as the unfit parent.
Slippery Slope - I think it's obvious that the Same Sex movement triggered this. No - not the average same sex couple just wanting to live in peace and acceptance, but the more radical fringes you see at SF Pride parades. I think the weirdos were encouraged by the legal and social acceptance of the same sex marriage movement and decided to keep pushing the envelope. See the persecution of Jack Phillips. Any push back to same sex marriage was hit with accusations of homophobia, etc. Sure, there are some people who were motivated by it, but not everyone. But it didn't matter - everyone was painted with the same Hate Brush. Well, now we have the GI cult doing the same. "Welcome to the party, pal."
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I'm also in a lesbian relationship ( 35 years), but we don't have children. Luckily we also agree on these issues. However, I've been ostracized by the lesbian community (small town of 50,000), my LGBT chorus, and my UU church for speaking up about these issues. I never dreamed this would happen to me. But I am committed to speaking up and writing letters to our local paper and articles to the UU community. We have to speak up. This is harming a whole generation.
I was going to say I can't imagine being in your position when all around you is losing their collective minds. However, for about 2 years before my husband was on board and finally understood the issue, I was flailing about on my own with the massive weight of this social experiment. It was a lonely, unforgiving place and I'm so sad you are not navigating it with your partner. It's so hard. Much love and strength to stay true to the truth. 💜
You must feel so alone. I am here to tell you are not. I am sorry your wife is capture. Sending love, light. Look back on the articles here on PITT. Look for the True believers. Read it. See if your wife will be open to reading it.
I just can’t believe there aren’t people in your area who think like you do. You just don’t know them yet, but they are there. You need to find your tribe and get support. I agree that you need to watch the authority figures in your town- teachers, doctors as has been said above.
Wow. I'm glad I read what you wrote. Of course you're angry. Don't try to talk yourself out of that. Don't move off your hill. I hope it's known in the house that there can be no ped/doctor/counseling visits, for either child, without you present. Not even for a broken collarbone. When the Doc says "Moms can you leave the room for a minute while I talk to this kiddo?" the answer has always got to be NO. Not even for sports forms. Your voice is crucial. Don't allow it to be stifled.
The new film, "Affirmation Generation" lays bare the harms and the confusions of this ideology: https://vimeo.com/800032857 . Everyone involved with this debate should watch it and share widely.
You are in a tough spot - but you are the logical thinker and did not buy into the gender cult lies. Keep strong and do not give in. The truth is starting to seep out into the world and the harm and damage that has been done to children/teens is being exposed. Whistle blowers will continue to come forth and the cult supporters will be held accountable. We are all in this together - don’t lose hope.
I wonder if it is possible to use logic and facts to change the mind of an adult with magical thinking. I know it's rarely the case with a trans-ID person. We most often make decisions based on emotion, not logic, so perhaps the stories of detransitioned males and transwomen would emotionally resonate with your wife? The stories on Reddit r/detrans are soul crushing. Ritchie/TulipR's experience as well. https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/89-ritchies-detransition-the-myth-of-adult-invulnerability. Even the words of transwoman Corinna Cohn - who talks about the lack of sexual pleasure, not finding a life partner, and being only viewed as a fetish by those who have an interest. Corinna's "Letter to my teenage self" is especially telling. https://paresky.substack.com/p/the-op-ed-that-went-viral-and-the
Be careful. The worst can happen. - https://pitt.substack.com/p/my-sons-fall-into-depravity-a-mothers?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=374402&post_id=97112681&isFreemail=true&utm_medium=email
I'm reading both in this post here and in the comments below examples of people who live in small towns, disagree with gender ideology, and find themselves in the MINORITY. What's happening??? I've lived in a major US city for the past 20+ years now and have assumed that I'm in the minority *here*, but that things would probably be different if I went and lived in a small town. What in the world??
Addendum to my other comment below. As you try to persuade your spouse, here are a few tools:
1) Lesbians United's great report: "Puberty Suppression: Medicine or Malpractice"
2) It has psychologist terminology in it but Susan and Marcus Evans book "Gender Dysphoria. A Therapeutic Model for Working with Children, Adolescents and Young Adults."
3) My substack including items like "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Trans Galaxy" (see especially harm done to lesbians) (LINK: https://caroldansereau.substack.com/p/hitchhikers-guide-to-the-transgender ) and "The Anti-Science Disaster of Gender Ideology in the Schools."
M view: showing children this hideous crank, the "choose your sex" debate, opening them up to the horrors of puberty blockers, the horrors of cross sex hormones and the horror surgeries, encouraging them to "socially transition" is child abuse. I have no idea if these kids can be recovered from this path, if it is possible to change this direction without separation, and recover the children, but if not, if this isn't an option, I'd take my kids, and go.
Thank you. It's true - we often share more common ground with the people we disagree with than we think. I hope you are able to find and hold on to yours with your wife.
The transcult is strong. I feel we must at least dialogue and study, look at history, look at outcomes and really have in depth knowledge and serious conversations about this. On sex changes, the awesome Brett Weinstein & Heather Heying (DarkHorse Podcast#159) I heard say (mockingly) - The only people who are not allowed to transition, are people who have transitioned, it's temporary, until you have done it once, it's required until you have done it once, then there's no going back, because once you've seen your true self, only the "others" can tell if you were actually right.
Everyone, we are up against invincible madness with this cult, and we must keep standing for truth and what is best in life. There are boys and girls, men and women. Why? Because we know better that's why.
I read this, terrifying. Not news but the young age of these children - terrifying and heartbreaking. They should be chasing butterflies and building lego and drawing pictures and reading wonderful books, not this crazy, psychotic, damaging shit about sex/gender. I wonder if these children have male role models, how often they visit, if there is a relationship with the father or how their existence has been explained, if the children understand biological reality of humans and animals, if they fully realise that two women cannot produce a baby on their own - nobody can get away from biology and this does relate to a discussion about reality - that nobody can change their sex - there is no magic pill to change boy to girl or the other way around, nobody is born in the wrong body and needs this body medically and surgically altered to match inner reality, I wonder if the children have extended family and a circle of friends, who are deeply interested in something else, and dedicated to it, for example, animals, art, music or other. I wonder if they understand biological reality and if they realise that there is a whole big wide world out there that is very busy thinking about other things, entirely - and that there is a lot to think about. I wonder if they go to school and if the school pushes this shit, I wonder how they got these books in the first place, who put them onto it. I admit, I could not quite bear to read the whole thing.
I will never use the phrase 'CIS'. It's my hill to die on. Control of language is control of discussion, narrative.
Someone mentioned divorce. I'd be very hesitant because in this day and age, you might end up in the cold. The courts are tending to toe the GI line, and you may be viewed as the unfit parent.
Slippery Slope - I think it's obvious that the Same Sex movement triggered this. No - not the average same sex couple just wanting to live in peace and acceptance, but the more radical fringes you see at SF Pride parades. I think the weirdos were encouraged by the legal and social acceptance of the same sex marriage movement and decided to keep pushing the envelope. See the persecution of Jack Phillips. Any push back to same sex marriage was hit with accusations of homophobia, etc. Sure, there are some people who were motivated by it, but not everyone. But it didn't matter - everyone was painted with the same Hate Brush. Well, now we have the GI cult doing the same. "Welcome to the party, pal."
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I'm also in a lesbian relationship ( 35 years), but we don't have children. Luckily we also agree on these issues. However, I've been ostracized by the lesbian community (small town of 50,000), my LGBT chorus, and my UU church for speaking up about these issues. I never dreamed this would happen to me. But I am committed to speaking up and writing letters to our local paper and articles to the UU community. We have to speak up. This is harming a whole generation.
I was going to say I can't imagine being in your position when all around you is losing their collective minds. However, for about 2 years before my husband was on board and finally understood the issue, I was flailing about on my own with the massive weight of this social experiment. It was a lonely, unforgiving place and I'm so sad you are not navigating it with your partner. It's so hard. Much love and strength to stay true to the truth. 💜
You must feel so alone. I am here to tell you are not. I am sorry your wife is capture. Sending love, light. Look back on the articles here on PITT. Look for the True believers. Read it. See if your wife will be open to reading it.
I just can’t believe there aren’t people in your area who think like you do. You just don’t know them yet, but they are there. You need to find your tribe and get support. I agree that you need to watch the authority figures in your town- teachers, doctors as has been said above.
Wow. I'm glad I read what you wrote. Of course you're angry. Don't try to talk yourself out of that. Don't move off your hill. I hope it's known in the house that there can be no ped/doctor/counseling visits, for either child, without you present. Not even for a broken collarbone. When the Doc says "Moms can you leave the room for a minute while I talk to this kiddo?" the answer has always got to be NO. Not even for sports forms. Your voice is crucial. Don't allow it to be stifled.