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This may be just informative or redundant but it is critical to me. This describes my nearly seven decades of striving with gender dysphoria and my current conclusions. I am so ashamed that it's taken so long to reach these decisions, but this is part of my current identity foundation from which to proceed. Of course, you can assess this as you will.

Eight historical transliterated Hebrew biological sex designations with terse definitions:

Zachar, male.

Nekevah, female.

Androgynos, having both male and female characteristics.

Tumtum, lacking sexual characteristics.

Aylonit hamah, identified female at birth but later naturally developing male characteristics.

Aylonit adam, identified female at birth but later developing male characteristics through human intervention.

Saris hamah, identified male at birth but later naturally developing female characteristics.

Saris adam, identified male at birth and later developing female characteristics through human intervention.

Sex Difference in Christian Theology: Male, Female, and Intersex in the Image of God

by Megan K. DeFranza

This book is a wonderful, merciful, rigorous theological discussion of biological sex and the introductory video is listed here:

https://youtu.be/331smwhg0gM

Please forgive me if this story is considered inappropriate within this context? Whether anyone considers themselves christian or not, may I please include some extra nuance to your conversation? I have no intention of attempting any kind of evangelization in my contribution, I would however like to supply some extra dimension to the discourse. To advance some concepts I would like to present some quotes.

First:

Isa 56:4-5 KJV 4 For thus saith the LORD unto the eunuchs that keep my sabbaths, and choose the things that please me, and take hold of my covenant; 5 Even unto them will I give in mine house and within my walls a place and a name better than of sons and of daughters: I will give them an everlasting name, that shall not be cut off.

Second:

Mat 19:11-12 KJV 11 But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. 12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

Third:

Act 8:26-40 KJV (The baptism of the eunuch which I consider too long to be quoted here but far from inconsequential.)

I would love to note first that the term eunuch in these quotes seems to be defined by the Lord Jesus himself to include intersex individuals (eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb). Unwilling (some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men) and willing individuals (eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs) appear similarly defined.

May I also note the quote (unto them will I give in mine house and within my walls a place and a name better than of sons and of daughters). I am aware that original Hebrew literally is translated "a hand and a name" greater than of sons and of daughters. I am, however, quite intrigued by the implications that eunuchs are given recognition separate from sons and from daughters.

I consider myself to be trans (eunuch, saris adam, barren (Isa 54:1-17)). I am not exactly a son and not exactly a daughter. I have a woefully masculine face and physique but I am definitely not a son (AMAB MTF post SRS (GRS)). Therefore I do not fit in sons' spaces or daughters' spaces.

I have immersed myself in the historical, philosophical, psychological, political and theological literature and media for a significant portion of seven decades and conclude that I am physically, politically, perceptually and theologically non-binary. Psychologically, I have identified as female since the age of two or three but diligent discipline discouraged any hint or discussion of my feminine identity or behavior. My ideal puberty would have included hormone blockers until a legally acceptable age to begin HRT and GRS (SRS) and then as nearly normal womanhood as attainable.

In actuality, the diligent discipline has induced my voluntary celibacy and perception that I have been insidiously gaslighted and have a subtle incidence of complex traumatic stress disorder by the dismissing, ignoring, denying and suppressing of my gender identity. I am just one of my peers who is the quarry for metaphorical, euphemistic and literal physical erasure. My concern is not just psychological, health or culture. This is the challenge and analysis of my right to true Judeo-Christian observance and Judeo-Christian expression and Judeo-Christian faith.

I hope my comments and the quotes are discovered to be beneficial. I pray that nothing is found to be triggering because my intent was to be somehow loving, compassionate and empathetic to each and everyone. If you have deigned to read this entire comment, thank you much!

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You mentioned, "forgiving myself and developing a practice of self-compassion". You, along with your daughter, are going through a lot of life's changes, including your daughter's process of growing up. Thank you so much for sharing for others what your family is going through, there are many of us going through similar hard times and feel less alone and supported from you sharing your family's story. Please don't forget for you and your daughter to go easy on yourselves!

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I found much encouragement as I read your words. I don’t feel so alone. Seems I’m not the only mother trying everything possible to save my daughter from permanently changing her beautiful healthy body. The sadness is overwhelming some days. Yet, I continue to bite my tongue and sacrifice whatever more I need to, in the hope that she’ll change her mind before it’s too late. Until then, I will keep loving her thru it.

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Thanks for this excellent piece! I have a trans identifying son who is now 18. Our path with him was different- but I have arrived at a very similar place that you describe at the end of your essay. We stuck with his high school in our town (also small and red state). Through very turbulent times we have emerged as a stronger closer family. He’s still trans identified as far as I know but the independence that came with driving and graduation has really transformed him. He has ditched the hours online in his room on his own and spends time with irl friends as often as he can. He’s taken up climbing and has a summer job lined up. Thanks to an awesome therapist, he no longer suffers from crippling social anxiety. It’s a mix of luck or divine grace and growing up I think that has gotten us to a better space. I hope your piece gives much hope to the many families struggling with this - we can and will make it through to brighter days

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Thank you for your well written article. I struggle with the loss of my daughter to the trans cult. I constantly think how i could have done better and went through all the stages you eloquently stated. But i am a physician and the sheer factual reality of the medicine of transitioning especially on the female body snaps me back into the same place of grief, fear and loss. I struggle everyday to find the path forward.

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