There are now hundreds of excellent posts on the PITT substack. As the parent of a gender questioning kid, PITT is one of my lifelines. In a society filled with people moronically chanting “trans women [men] are women” and waving what I like to call the “penis flag”
Heartbreaking what parents are going through. There can never be a justification for punishing parents for trying to pry their children from the jaws of the gender machine. Will there ever be a reckoning with the authorities for all the suffering caused by adherence to this unscientific belief system? Given the long history of medical abuses, including the DES scandal, the Tuskegee syphilis experiments, a litany of psychiatric abuses including sleep therapy, experiments done in concert with the CIA to investigate possible "mind control" treatments in which unwitting "expendable" psychiatric patients were used as guinea pigs, lobotomies and a battery of drugs the side effects of which were hidden from patients and families for decades, we shouldn't be holding out much hope of seeing any official contrition in the future. In the meantime we must fight to raise awareness of what's happening. So many people have no idea.
Just a P.S. to my comment below: Yesterday my son Matt did an expose' on what he called the "soulless goblins" at Vanderbilt University's transgender clinic who are mutilating children for profit and threatening to punish any employee who does not wish to participate due to conscientious objection.
All this is on tape.
Within hours the Usual Suspects were accusing Matt of inciting terrorism and calling for his investigation by the FBI while Vanderbilt is busily destroying the evidence.
This is what you good people are up against in your battle to protect your children. The Regime has turned against families and now facilitates their destruction. Utter madness.
I teared up when I read this. It is wonderfully written and profoundly thoughtful. Thank you for your courage and willingness to share your thoughts. Sincerely, Frederick
I can't imagine trying to be a good parent of a young child these days with the constant bombardment of trans ideology flooding their consciousness from every avenue, most disturbingly, from academia. I don't know of many ways to effectively combat such a delusional social phenomenon except to keep presenting facts and sharing the stories of those who have detransitioned and found their way out of this nightmare. I can only hope that the pendulum will soon have swung as far as it can go and that people will realize the harm this is doing to women and children.
Excellent and so very accurate. Dr. Miriam Grossman, in a talk for parents of boys trapped in this, was the first person I'd heard identify the grief and trauma that parents like me experience. Her article on this is worth a read (https://thefederalist.com/2021/11/11/therapists-have-betrayed-the-parents-of-gender-confused-kids-and-therell-be-hell-to-pay/). I definitely feel that non-stop sense of panic, although things are dramatically better with my kid than they were even four months ago. I see signs that he might be pulling out of this (although I suspect I'll be eternally waiting for the other shoe to drop), so I can now have "normal" thoughts without my brain always multitasking, carrying on its silent screaming in the background. For the better part of the past two years, though, I was living like that. I cannot imagine that this constant high-level, core-instinct-driven stress doesn't have serious health consequences. During the worst of it (so far), I couldn't bear the thought of having to witness it — to be forced to watch my son doing something so deeply self-destructive, something that I believed (and still believe) would/will in short order cause him such deep regret and grief that he would commit suicide over it, and something enthusiastically encouraged by pretty much everyone around him but me. It was so traumatic, so destabilizing, such torture, that I wanted to end my own life. I know parents who have lived in the nightmare realm for almost a decade. If I can breathe again in the foreseeable future, I'll consider myself unimaginably lucky.
What a great idea, Nomomomo! And that takes guts. Congrats on convincing/giving space for thr first woman to talk about her concerns. I think a lot of people feel relieved to know someone they can safely talk to about this. You just gave her a lifeline. This issue is probably gaslighting tons of people. I like that you gave her links, too.
I think we need more brochures and fact sheets. Not glossy, multicolor, professsional, expensive things: just typed up and printed out, especially in a trifold brochure format, for portability. Bullet-pointed facts debunking suicide and murder rate falsehoods, "transition or die" lies, lies about detransition rates, blockers, trans being about having DSDs, etc. With citations back to original sources: credible work. And a list of links to key sites, articles, and free subscriptions, so people can stay up to date on this fast-moving subject.
The reason I think we need these is because it's easy to get bogged down in debate, I find, on any one of these topics, so having a sheet or brochure or two to hand someone would allow covering a lot of ground before communication possibly breaks down. Or in lieu of much dialogue at all- just something to hand off.
I'll say to strangers, "Hi. May I give you a flier?" They usually say, "Sure!" I'll then say. "It's about detransitioners from a transgender identity, who started to transition, but then decided it wasn't the pathway for them. They can get insurance for the initial surgeries, but can't get healthcare coverage for detransition procedures." (My one current handout.)
I'm amazed how many people sound interested, and I see a look of relief come over them, as if to say, "Finally, someone's talking about this." I've found detransition is a safe ice breaker, because regardless of how people feel about the broader issue, they tend to feel compassion and concern for detransitioners.
Also, in case it's of use for your more challenging upcoming coffee, I bought a dozen navy blue 3-clasp folders, with clear plastic covers, at Staples, and many packs of clear sheet protectors at the Dollar Store. I print out some articles, but mostly memes from Facebook debunking trans nonsense, then put them in the sleeves in the folders, for people to flip through quickly and see a lot of brief debunking statements. I also included printouts of TerfIsASlur.com to peak people quickly. People won't take time to read articles, but I'll put in a few with jaw-dropping headlines, shortened to one page, and including the link to thepage, always, as a citation.
Belissa Cohen on Facebook posts tons of great memes. She's great to friend. Lots of hilarious conversations on her page.
One I've got to print out for the clasp folder is the recent story of the high-school shop teacher in Ontario, Canada, who wears fake, plastic watermelon-size boobs to his job, with huge, pointy, protruding nipples, displaying his fetish around the kids. The wannabe-woke school is defending him being there as honoring sexual diversity or some such garbage. These poor kids are being sent the message that they can't trust their instincts or speak up in the presence of an obvious sick pervert, and no one is looking out for them. That photo and article alone should peak anyone regarding how insanely far this has gone.
Please keep us posted on your upcoming coffee appointment. Hoping it goes well. I'd like to know how sitting down with people who might be resistant to his topic works, having a sit down personal talk about it.
This is unfortunately very familiar. The absolute horror at trusted friends not believing the truth while you constantly fear for your child's health and future is just not how this should be!
My kid is currently desisted but my fear is still there - we are on high alert still because they get bombarded with pro gender identity poison from all sides, all day long, every day.
You do understand, that I do not support this. So sorry that is an acceptable practice in medicine. A “ do no harm” profession. My God, what is happening to our families? It’s insane. And even sane people are believing it, hence my comment that it’s miraculous that this mom found a therapist who supports her fight against such practices.
I have responded to many of the excellent posts provided on this subject. Although all our kids are grown and none trans that we know about, the danger to our families, to our mental well being and certainly to generations to come is substantial. If we were raising these kids today I despair as to my own possible reactions. The forces at work on a planetary basis to destroy us, our families and everything we stand for are legendary. We face a well-camouflaged nest of vipers who seem to have surrounded us everywhere. This generates great feat and mental instability. This is intentional. When we recognize we are the targets of serial abusers who are themselves psychopaths the picture becomes clearer. Find ways to stay strong within your families and communities. Never have we needed those committed to sanity more.
“That feeling—of being trapped in a nightmare—is what underlies the uniquely debilitating effects on parental mental health and wellbeing.” A new word to describe my existence - trapped. Thank you for your essay.
Thank you for sharing. You are right. Society is utterly seeped in this nonsense ideology. So many people, NGOs, lobbies and 'representatives' should be languishing in prison for exploiting children and families in this way.
I feel for you! I have a trans identified son who is now 27. He’s literally a genius on the Asperger’s spectrum ( autistic as they refer to it now) the only real difference that I have over your situation is that he didn’t get his boobs chopped off. I can’t imagine how hard that must be to see that happens to your daughters. My son has held off on any reassignment surgery, Thank God!
It’s miraculous that you found a therapist who agrees with your position.
Hang in there, and please don’t be offended, but seek God in this, who will provide Hope.
Thank you for writing this incredible post. You’ve communicated all that I have felt for the past four years of this hellish nightmare. Will it ever end? Thank God for this place to connect with others who share the same devastating grief. You’re not alone.
Dearest Duly Noted, I am a licensed therapist all too familiar with the punitive inhumane categories of the DSM. I would stake my reputation on saying that BPD is, in fact, Complex PTSD.
Imo, I think it’s irresponsible for therapists to use the BPD diagnosis when so much is now understood about the effects of trauma. The term BPD conveys no information about causation and no hope for recovery and it carries a stigma.
Complex PTSD on the other hand is becoming more understood and there are therapies that address it and more on the way (some are very innovative.) It would also be helpful to work with someone who does Attachment Therapy.
I hope you can hang in there with this heart-breaking situation. I myself have been shepherding my 32 year old daughter through massive Complex PTSD for 7 years and she has improved immeasurably. Best wishes to you 💛
Thank you for writing this. This ideology has torn my family apart in just a few short months. We have a 17 year old son who wants blockers and hormones. His dad and I shut his internet down a few days ago. He will not relinquish his phone so we will be shutting that down as well. I have had that same feeling of wanting to just run away or turn back time and not be in this situation.
Heartbreaking what parents are going through. There can never be a justification for punishing parents for trying to pry their children from the jaws of the gender machine. Will there ever be a reckoning with the authorities for all the suffering caused by adherence to this unscientific belief system? Given the long history of medical abuses, including the DES scandal, the Tuskegee syphilis experiments, a litany of psychiatric abuses including sleep therapy, experiments done in concert with the CIA to investigate possible "mind control" treatments in which unwitting "expendable" psychiatric patients were used as guinea pigs, lobotomies and a battery of drugs the side effects of which were hidden from patients and families for decades, we shouldn't be holding out much hope of seeing any official contrition in the future. In the meantime we must fight to raise awareness of what's happening. So many people have no idea.
Just a P.S. to my comment below: Yesterday my son Matt did an expose' on what he called the "soulless goblins" at Vanderbilt University's transgender clinic who are mutilating children for profit and threatening to punish any employee who does not wish to participate due to conscientious objection.
All this is on tape.
Within hours the Usual Suspects were accusing Matt of inciting terrorism and calling for his investigation by the FBI while Vanderbilt is busily destroying the evidence.
This is what you good people are up against in your battle to protect your children. The Regime has turned against families and now facilitates their destruction. Utter madness.
I teared up when I read this. It is wonderfully written and profoundly thoughtful. Thank you for your courage and willingness to share your thoughts. Sincerely, Frederick
I can't imagine trying to be a good parent of a young child these days with the constant bombardment of trans ideology flooding their consciousness from every avenue, most disturbingly, from academia. I don't know of many ways to effectively combat such a delusional social phenomenon except to keep presenting facts and sharing the stories of those who have detransitioned and found their way out of this nightmare. I can only hope that the pendulum will soon have swung as far as it can go and that people will realize the harm this is doing to women and children.
Excellent and so very accurate. Dr. Miriam Grossman, in a talk for parents of boys trapped in this, was the first person I'd heard identify the grief and trauma that parents like me experience. Her article on this is worth a read (https://thefederalist.com/2021/11/11/therapists-have-betrayed-the-parents-of-gender-confused-kids-and-therell-be-hell-to-pay/). I definitely feel that non-stop sense of panic, although things are dramatically better with my kid than they were even four months ago. I see signs that he might be pulling out of this (although I suspect I'll be eternally waiting for the other shoe to drop), so I can now have "normal" thoughts without my brain always multitasking, carrying on its silent screaming in the background. For the better part of the past two years, though, I was living like that. I cannot imagine that this constant high-level, core-instinct-driven stress doesn't have serious health consequences. During the worst of it (so far), I couldn't bear the thought of having to witness it — to be forced to watch my son doing something so deeply self-destructive, something that I believed (and still believe) would/will in short order cause him such deep regret and grief that he would commit suicide over it, and something enthusiastically encouraged by pretty much everyone around him but me. It was so traumatic, so destabilizing, such torture, that I wanted to end my own life. I know parents who have lived in the nightmare realm for almost a decade. If I can breathe again in the foreseeable future, I'll consider myself unimaginably lucky.
Thank you for another great article! Wanted to let you know that Dr Robert Malone just did an article today on the reality of gender surgery in case you haven't seen it. https://rwmalonemd.substack.com/p/transgender-surgery-common-sense
What a great idea, Nomomomo! And that takes guts. Congrats on convincing/giving space for thr first woman to talk about her concerns. I think a lot of people feel relieved to know someone they can safely talk to about this. You just gave her a lifeline. This issue is probably gaslighting tons of people. I like that you gave her links, too.
I think we need more brochures and fact sheets. Not glossy, multicolor, professsional, expensive things: just typed up and printed out, especially in a trifold brochure format, for portability. Bullet-pointed facts debunking suicide and murder rate falsehoods, "transition or die" lies, lies about detransition rates, blockers, trans being about having DSDs, etc. With citations back to original sources: credible work. And a list of links to key sites, articles, and free subscriptions, so people can stay up to date on this fast-moving subject.
The reason I think we need these is because it's easy to get bogged down in debate, I find, on any one of these topics, so having a sheet or brochure or two to hand someone would allow covering a lot of ground before communication possibly breaks down. Or in lieu of much dialogue at all- just something to hand off.
I'll say to strangers, "Hi. May I give you a flier?" They usually say, "Sure!" I'll then say. "It's about detransitioners from a transgender identity, who started to transition, but then decided it wasn't the pathway for them. They can get insurance for the initial surgeries, but can't get healthcare coverage for detransition procedures." (My one current handout.)
I'm amazed how many people sound interested, and I see a look of relief come over them, as if to say, "Finally, someone's talking about this." I've found detransition is a safe ice breaker, because regardless of how people feel about the broader issue, they tend to feel compassion and concern for detransitioners.
Also, in case it's of use for your more challenging upcoming coffee, I bought a dozen navy blue 3-clasp folders, with clear plastic covers, at Staples, and many packs of clear sheet protectors at the Dollar Store. I print out some articles, but mostly memes from Facebook debunking trans nonsense, then put them in the sleeves in the folders, for people to flip through quickly and see a lot of brief debunking statements. I also included printouts of TerfIsASlur.com to peak people quickly. People won't take time to read articles, but I'll put in a few with jaw-dropping headlines, shortened to one page, and including the link to thepage, always, as a citation.
Belissa Cohen on Facebook posts tons of great memes. She's great to friend. Lots of hilarious conversations on her page.
One I've got to print out for the clasp folder is the recent story of the high-school shop teacher in Ontario, Canada, who wears fake, plastic watermelon-size boobs to his job, with huge, pointy, protruding nipples, displaying his fetish around the kids. The wannabe-woke school is defending him being there as honoring sexual diversity or some such garbage. These poor kids are being sent the message that they can't trust their instincts or speak up in the presence of an obvious sick pervert, and no one is looking out for them. That photo and article alone should peak anyone regarding how insanely far this has gone.
Please keep us posted on your upcoming coffee appointment. Hoping it goes well. I'd like to know how sitting down with people who might be resistant to his topic works, having a sit down personal talk about it.
Thank you for the inspiration. .
This is unfortunately very familiar. The absolute horror at trusted friends not believing the truth while you constantly fear for your child's health and future is just not how this should be!
My kid is currently desisted but my fear is still there - we are on high alert still because they get bombarded with pro gender identity poison from all sides, all day long, every day.
You do understand, that I do not support this. So sorry that is an acceptable practice in medicine. A “ do no harm” profession. My God, what is happening to our families? It’s insane. And even sane people are believing it, hence my comment that it’s miraculous that this mom found a therapist who supports her fight against such practices.
We are on the same page.
I have responded to many of the excellent posts provided on this subject. Although all our kids are grown and none trans that we know about, the danger to our families, to our mental well being and certainly to generations to come is substantial. If we were raising these kids today I despair as to my own possible reactions. The forces at work on a planetary basis to destroy us, our families and everything we stand for are legendary. We face a well-camouflaged nest of vipers who seem to have surrounded us everywhere. This generates great feat and mental instability. This is intentional. When we recognize we are the targets of serial abusers who are themselves psychopaths the picture becomes clearer. Find ways to stay strong within your families and communities. Never have we needed those committed to sanity more.
“That feeling—of being trapped in a nightmare—is what underlies the uniquely debilitating effects on parental mental health and wellbeing.” A new word to describe my existence - trapped. Thank you for your essay.
Thank you for sharing. You are right. Society is utterly seeped in this nonsense ideology. So many people, NGOs, lobbies and 'representatives' should be languishing in prison for exploiting children and families in this way.
I feel for you! I have a trans identified son who is now 27. He’s literally a genius on the Asperger’s spectrum ( autistic as they refer to it now) the only real difference that I have over your situation is that he didn’t get his boobs chopped off. I can’t imagine how hard that must be to see that happens to your daughters. My son has held off on any reassignment surgery, Thank God!
It’s miraculous that you found a therapist who agrees with your position.
Hang in there, and please don’t be offended, but seek God in this, who will provide Hope.
Look up Lora Perry who detransitioned.
Thank you for writing this incredible post. You’ve communicated all that I have felt for the past four years of this hellish nightmare. Will it ever end? Thank God for this place to connect with others who share the same devastating grief. You’re not alone.
Dearest Duly Noted, I am a licensed therapist all too familiar with the punitive inhumane categories of the DSM. I would stake my reputation on saying that BPD is, in fact, Complex PTSD.
Imo, I think it’s irresponsible for therapists to use the BPD diagnosis when so much is now understood about the effects of trauma. The term BPD conveys no information about causation and no hope for recovery and it carries a stigma.
Complex PTSD on the other hand is becoming more understood and there are therapies that address it and more on the way (some are very innovative.) It would also be helpful to work with someone who does Attachment Therapy.
I hope you can hang in there with this heart-breaking situation. I myself have been shepherding my 32 year old daughter through massive Complex PTSD for 7 years and she has improved immeasurably. Best wishes to you 💛
Thank you for writing this. This ideology has torn my family apart in just a few short months. We have a 17 year old son who wants blockers and hormones. His dad and I shut his internet down a few days ago. He will not relinquish his phone so we will be shutting that down as well. I have had that same feeling of wanting to just run away or turn back time and not be in this situation.