This letter would be much better if it came from a Psychologist or Psychiatrist, or was accompanied by a supporting letter from same. That opens up the school to liability for practicing medicine without a license if they refuse to follow it. If the school does IEPs (Individualized Education Plans in my state) or the equivalent and the child already has one, include this in it. If the child does not have one, request it. Take an empowered approach to the process, assume you are entitled to everything you ask for, and don't take no for an answer.
Remember that the school doesn't have the best interests of you or your child at heart, they have their own interests at heart. You cannot trust them.
Well done. This can serve as a loose template for many parents struggling to make school a truly "safe place" for their gender-confused children. I wish I had been as clued in as you are, back when my daughter was in middle school and high school. She is now 19 and on the verge of obtaining hormones under her college's mandatory medical coverage . . .
So good! Yes to speaking the truth, to reclaiming your voice as a parent, and to advocating for your daughter.
Some schools are starting to listen. The numbers of girls requesting alternate gender identities speak for themselves - anyone who works with teens can no longer claim it's "a tiny percentage". I have now had this conversation (I'm calling it "The Talk" now) with my daughter's school, a summer camp director, a teen safety program director, and a music school, with varied results. I wrote a letter - similar to your first one - to my daughter's high school. The principal replied that teachers would no longer be asking explicitly for pronoun identification. We have to keep this dialogue open, even when it's so hard.
Schools absolutely SHOULD avoid ever using third-person pronouns or talking about gender at this point. But they won't.
NEVER tell your school that you're "not transphobic." That just shows them that you're weak. Of course you hate that the school is doing this. Of course you fear what might happen. Hatred and fear are the normal parental response to child endangerment, necessary for the survival of our species.
If your school makes you feel defensive and unable to state your true opinions and feelings, then imagine how it must feel to be a child in their care. And act accordingly.
Unfortunately, I think many people will have to remove kids from these schools. You will never know exactly what crap they are being fed, in some places they are legally obliged to lie to you. Do you really want to leave your kids at such a risk? The threat if removing her from her friends might snap her out of it. I'd be very sceptical of exposing them to any psychologists too for the same reasons. Institutions have been subverted. They are not your friend, not in good faith, and don't give a shit about your kids. You are all they have to protect them
I like these. Rather than confront and put the child into a position to defend their delusion (which would strengthen it), these approaches sideline the gender delusion.
Dearest Felice, you have absolutely nailed it with this letter! You are shaking these pandering, smug, followers. How I pray for the end of this insanity. I pray for more parents, grandparents, family members and all people with a voice of authority (i.e.: teachers, counselors, doctors, lawyers, scientists, journalists, (yes,) politicians etc.) to begin to speak out as you have. I wish we all had your courage. Thank you, thank you! Love and prayers, Indio.
Thank you for this excellent piece. I'm sad for your family. I do believe lawsuits are on the way. Always follow the money, and the only thing that seems to slow the tide is making malpractice too expensive to continue it. In light of the possibility that you and/or anyone you know who is going through this contrived nightmare will get the chance to hold these people accountable in the future, document everything. I'm sure that's obvious to many/most/all of you who participate here, but I say it just incase there's someone who doesn't know. Document everything. Names, dates, times, location, contact method. Print it. Record conversations if you can. It's always better to have things you think you won't need than need things you could have had and don't. God bless you all.
I think it's going to take lawsuits to reverse any of this, which means there needs to be harm from this policy first before a claim can be filed. I know of a few cases, including one active one in CA. As you state in your letter, because of this policy schools are practicing medicine without a license. They are not trained therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, or any type of medical professional who has the education and experience to understand what it means to begin social transition with a child. We need to continue shouting from the rooftops, speaking out at board meetings, AND pulling out vulnerable and impressionable kids out of public school. We can't wait on them to fix this, meanwhile our kids are suffering!!! Great job, mama! Keep fighting the good fight, we are with you!
This letter would be much better if it came from a Psychologist or Psychiatrist, or was accompanied by a supporting letter from same. That opens up the school to liability for practicing medicine without a license if they refuse to follow it. If the school does IEPs (Individualized Education Plans in my state) or the equivalent and the child already has one, include this in it. If the child does not have one, request it. Take an empowered approach to the process, assume you are entitled to everything you ask for, and don't take no for an answer.
Remember that the school doesn't have the best interests of you or your child at heart, they have their own interests at heart. You cannot trust them.
Well done. This can serve as a loose template for many parents struggling to make school a truly "safe place" for their gender-confused children. I wish I had been as clued in as you are, back when my daughter was in middle school and high school. She is now 19 and on the verge of obtaining hormones under her college's mandatory medical coverage . . .
So good! Yes to speaking the truth, to reclaiming your voice as a parent, and to advocating for your daughter.
Some schools are starting to listen. The numbers of girls requesting alternate gender identities speak for themselves - anyone who works with teens can no longer claim it's "a tiny percentage". I have now had this conversation (I'm calling it "The Talk" now) with my daughter's school, a summer camp director, a teen safety program director, and a music school, with varied results. I wrote a letter - similar to your first one - to my daughter's high school. The principal replied that teachers would no longer be asking explicitly for pronoun identification. We have to keep this dialogue open, even when it's so hard.
This is great! For children with IEPs, I would try to get this language written into the IEP, then it is not just a polite suggestion, but the law.
Love it--thanks for sharing.
Schools absolutely SHOULD avoid ever using third-person pronouns or talking about gender at this point. But they won't.
NEVER tell your school that you're "not transphobic." That just shows them that you're weak. Of course you hate that the school is doing this. Of course you fear what might happen. Hatred and fear are the normal parental response to child endangerment, necessary for the survival of our species.
If your school makes you feel defensive and unable to state your true opinions and feelings, then imagine how it must feel to be a child in their care. And act accordingly.
Unfortunately, I think many people will have to remove kids from these schools. You will never know exactly what crap they are being fed, in some places they are legally obliged to lie to you. Do you really want to leave your kids at such a risk? The threat if removing her from her friends might snap her out of it. I'd be very sceptical of exposing them to any psychologists too for the same reasons. Institutions have been subverted. They are not your friend, not in good faith, and don't give a shit about your kids. You are all they have to protect them
I like these. Rather than confront and put the child into a position to defend their delusion (which would strengthen it), these approaches sideline the gender delusion.
https://fedsoc.org/commentary/fedsoc-blog/hhs-s-proposed-nondiscrimination-regulations-impose-transgender-mandate-in-health-care-1
I think there is still time to comment.
Excellent.
I mean... that's a good letter, but if parents started pulling their kids out of these schools, that would speak a lot louder than a letter.
I was so sad to have lost this letter when you closed your site - thanks for having it reposted via PITT
Going to save a copy this time :)
Dearest Felice, you have absolutely nailed it with this letter! You are shaking these pandering, smug, followers. How I pray for the end of this insanity. I pray for more parents, grandparents, family members and all people with a voice of authority (i.e.: teachers, counselors, doctors, lawyers, scientists, journalists, (yes,) politicians etc.) to begin to speak out as you have. I wish we all had your courage. Thank you, thank you! Love and prayers, Indio.
Thank you for this excellent piece. I'm sad for your family. I do believe lawsuits are on the way. Always follow the money, and the only thing that seems to slow the tide is making malpractice too expensive to continue it. In light of the possibility that you and/or anyone you know who is going through this contrived nightmare will get the chance to hold these people accountable in the future, document everything. I'm sure that's obvious to many/most/all of you who participate here, but I say it just incase there's someone who doesn't know. Document everything. Names, dates, times, location, contact method. Print it. Record conversations if you can. It's always better to have things you think you won't need than need things you could have had and don't. God bless you all.
Excellent, impressively firm but calm, letter. Perfect title too.
I think it's going to take lawsuits to reverse any of this, which means there needs to be harm from this policy first before a claim can be filed. I know of a few cases, including one active one in CA. As you state in your letter, because of this policy schools are practicing medicine without a license. They are not trained therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, or any type of medical professional who has the education and experience to understand what it means to begin social transition with a child. We need to continue shouting from the rooftops, speaking out at board meetings, AND pulling out vulnerable and impressionable kids out of public school. We can't wait on them to fix this, meanwhile our kids are suffering!!! Great job, mama! Keep fighting the good fight, we are with you!