I’m an older transitioner, around middle age. I transitioned from male to female and got surgery in my 30s after decades of therapy. Within months of surgery, I started to experience regret. I’ve been on a path of self-discovery ever since, trying to make sense of how this happened and what I can do about it.
Thank you so much for your story - I appreciate your transparency. I am sorry that your life journey has been difficult and I hope that you find the inner peace you are seeking. You had a lot of trauma early in life - sexually abused, the loss of a parent and no one seemed to be there to help you. I believe that boys and girls question their identity and sexual desires when there has been sexual trauma - it is not your fault. I find you to be brave and honest and I appreciate your wisdom and reflection. Your advice to parents is very powerful but also very scary - none of us want to push our loved one away or sever our relationship but we worry about the consequences. You are not alone - may God bless you abundantly. Best wishes to you, too.
A lot of good stuff in this thoughtful essay - thanks for providing it.
“You may think your main goal is to stop it, but I would say it’s to protect them. You can’t do that if they cut you off. “ Although this is true, we did not affirm our adult child’s new belief, just as we would not blindly join a cult or religion that our child joined. We found that acknowledgment of the new belief was not enough for her - we had to participate or else. We can’t protect her if we pretend to agree with her beliefs, either, and watch her do something she may come to regret later.
Thank you for such a thoughtful piece. Your group is the one which most interests/concerns me, and is how I am affected by all this. I cannot understand my adult brother’s motivation, but have heard of a few possibilities. The focus on children by campaigners at the moment is understandable but I hope when those much-needed safeguards are in place, people will look at how to help adults caught in this gender spiral.
Such a thoughtful essay--thank you so much for sharing your experience. I think it's crucial to listen to folks on this journey, when you're patenting a child/teenager through this. I value your advice in your concluding paragraph and will use it to guide how I walk with my kiddo through this.
I am normally a pleaser and my comment will baffle. I have resented my child's luck to be born in this day and age. I have made myself unpleasant to them so they suffered in turn. I see them as privileged so I have put difficult decisions in their ways. I they have transition regrets they will remember me. And if they transition and are happy I shall not remember them.
Thanks so much for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to share when you still have so many questions. It sounds like you have been on estrogen for many years. Would you mind sharing how many years, and whether you have experienced adverse effects? Like many parents of young people who are in the process of transitioning, I've read a lot about damage from long-term use. Do you get lab work and scans that show you how your body is changing in ways that aren't apparent? Do clinicians encourage such tests, or would they push back against someone requesting them?
Outside of the West most transgendered don’t have bottom surgery. Bottom surgery often has a lot of problems that transitioners regret.
There is definitely a predatory gender transition industry. Read about the Tavistock clinic and the lives ruined by the predatory for profit gender transition industry. The UK shut down the for profit gender transition industry. Only 5,000 out of 67 million people in the UK are true homosexuals or 0.0000746%. Once the for profit industry popped up that number rose exponentially and as a result their were numerous cases of very unhappy customers, court cases and detransitioners.
One patient is worth $1.5 million in gender transition treatments and surgeries in the US.
TikTok is owned by the Communist Chinese and a primary source leading to young people falsely believing they are trans due to China’s predatory algorithms which show socially negative, self destructive videos to confuse and misguide them as part of a psyop to undermine the West. They only show positive and industrious videos to their youth encouraging them to succeed in science, math, school and have positive, wholesome behavior and interests. Added to the corral gender and critical race theory being forced upon youth they are encouraged to see themselves as victims and to have the most clout in this Marxist ideology / pseudoscience, being transgendered gives them a lot of social credit - which is especially helpful if you are otherwise considered privileged because you are white.
Planned parenthood is the largest provider of sex hormones.
Isn’t the real question do you want to penetrate vs being penetrated? Male, masculine, dominant, penetrate; female, feminine, submissive, wants to be penetrated.
Medicalization is the only real fear I have. My son does have some autistic traits. He wears the same clothes everyday, can't eat properly with a fork and is socially awkward. Thanks for the advice. It will not fall on deaf ears.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and also for sharing advice with parents who I believe need it very much.
Thank you so much for your story - I appreciate your transparency. I am sorry that your life journey has been difficult and I hope that you find the inner peace you are seeking. You had a lot of trauma early in life - sexually abused, the loss of a parent and no one seemed to be there to help you. I believe that boys and girls question their identity and sexual desires when there has been sexual trauma - it is not your fault. I find you to be brave and honest and I appreciate your wisdom and reflection. Your advice to parents is very powerful but also very scary - none of us want to push our loved one away or sever our relationship but we worry about the consequences. You are not alone - may God bless you abundantly. Best wishes to you, too.
Thank you so much for this piece. Intelligent, honest and thought provoking.
A lot of good stuff in this thoughtful essay - thanks for providing it.
“You may think your main goal is to stop it, but I would say it’s to protect them. You can’t do that if they cut you off. “ Although this is true, we did not affirm our adult child’s new belief, just as we would not blindly join a cult or religion that our child joined. We found that acknowledgment of the new belief was not enough for her - we had to participate or else. We can’t protect her if we pretend to agree with her beliefs, either, and watch her do something she may come to regret later.
Thank you for such a thoughtful piece. Your group is the one which most interests/concerns me, and is how I am affected by all this. I cannot understand my adult brother’s motivation, but have heard of a few possibilities. The focus on children by campaigners at the moment is understandable but I hope when those much-needed safeguards are in place, people will look at how to help adults caught in this gender spiral.
Such a thoughtful essay--thank you so much for sharing your experience. I think it's crucial to listen to folks on this journey, when you're patenting a child/teenager through this. I value your advice in your concluding paragraph and will use it to guide how I walk with my kiddo through this.
Not all homosexuals are "born that way" some have been recruited, some have been brought up under very strange circumstances.
Sexual orientation results from an interaction of cognitive, environmental, and biological factors. There are many paths to homosexuality.
I am normally a pleaser and my comment will baffle. I have resented my child's luck to be born in this day and age. I have made myself unpleasant to them so they suffered in turn. I see them as privileged so I have put difficult decisions in their ways. I they have transition regrets they will remember me. And if they transition and are happy I shall not remember them.
Thanks so much for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to share when you still have so many questions. It sounds like you have been on estrogen for many years. Would you mind sharing how many years, and whether you have experienced adverse effects? Like many parents of young people who are in the process of transitioning, I've read a lot about damage from long-term use. Do you get lab work and scans that show you how your body is changing in ways that aren't apparent? Do clinicians encourage such tests, or would they push back against someone requesting them?
Outside of the West most transgendered don’t have bottom surgery. Bottom surgery often has a lot of problems that transitioners regret.
There is definitely a predatory gender transition industry. Read about the Tavistock clinic and the lives ruined by the predatory for profit gender transition industry. The UK shut down the for profit gender transition industry. Only 5,000 out of 67 million people in the UK are true homosexuals or 0.0000746%. Once the for profit industry popped up that number rose exponentially and as a result their were numerous cases of very unhappy customers, court cases and detransitioners.
One patient is worth $1.5 million in gender transition treatments and surgeries in the US.
TikTok is owned by the Communist Chinese and a primary source leading to young people falsely believing they are trans due to China’s predatory algorithms which show socially negative, self destructive videos to confuse and misguide them as part of a psyop to undermine the West. They only show positive and industrious videos to their youth encouraging them to succeed in science, math, school and have positive, wholesome behavior and interests. Added to the corral gender and critical race theory being forced upon youth they are encouraged to see themselves as victims and to have the most clout in this Marxist ideology / pseudoscience, being transgendered gives them a lot of social credit - which is especially helpful if you are otherwise considered privileged because you are white.
Planned parenthood is the largest provider of sex hormones.
Isn’t the real question do you want to penetrate vs being penetrated? Male, masculine, dominant, penetrate; female, feminine, submissive, wants to be penetrated.
Asexual is low libido which you seem to have had.
Thanks for sharing your hard fought insights. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through 🙏
Thank you very much for this candid, thoughtful essay. You brought up a number of excellent points.
Thank you. What you say has the ring of truth … sadly such a rarity these days.
Merci pour votre témoignage. C'est important de montrer la complexité du diagnostic de dysphorie et l'importance des enjeux.
Medicalization is the only real fear I have. My son does have some autistic traits. He wears the same clothes everyday, can't eat properly with a fork and is socially awkward. Thanks for the advice. It will not fall on deaf ears.